(Obligatory Eminem Post)

If you like the new Eminem single, "We Made You," that's fine by me. Your ears might need a checkup, but I'm happy for you.

If you're like me and aren't impressed, let me simply remind you that this is all part of Em and Dre's fool-proof formula that has yet to fail. A quick case study:

2000: The Marshall Mathers LP

First single: "The Real Slim Shady," a goofy ditty with countless pop culture references and subversive jabs.

Second single: "The Way I Am," a lashed-out screamer that spooked the hardest-of-hardcore junior high punks. A complete antithesis of the first single.

**Interesting fact: Both of these songs were recorded just hours before this album's deadline, when Jimmy Iovine wanted a "My Name Is" sequel to introduce the new album. Marshall wrote "The Way I Am" in response to these demands (evident in the lyrics: "I'm not gonna be able to top a 'My Name Is'"). Once he cooled off, "The Real Slim Shady" was born.

2002: The Eminem Show

First single: "Without Me," another silly track aimed at current chart-toppers, namely boy bands and Moby.

Second single: "Cleaning Out My Closet," an introspective journey through Em's troubled childhood and adolescence.

**Are we beginning to notice a pattern here? Read on.

2004: Encore

First single: "Just Lose It," complete with a Pee-Wee Herman imitation in the chorus. 'Nuff said.

Second single: "Like Toy Soldiers," where Em offers a truce to his lyrical enemies and mourns the death of best friend/partner Proof.

**Yes, "Encore/Curtains Down" was technically the second single from this album, but it was released simultaneously with "Just Lose It" as a street single for hip-hop radio (aka no video) and I am counting it as a "second first single." Em kept the solemness alive after "Like Toy Soldiers" with the sappy-go-lucky "Mockingbird."

2009: Relapse

First single: "We Made You"
Second single: TBD.

**Just like "Encore," "Crack a Bottle" was a street single and can't be counted as a proper single.

So there you have it. Marshall and Andre like to get the kids excited with the funny routine, then let the hip-hop heads take notice with the next joint. Be patient, true fans. The real music is on its way.